I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
