so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
