She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
