He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
