just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
