singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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