i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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