You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
