how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
