I hate all girls vehemently.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
