we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
