True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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