Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
