remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
