Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize