Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize