okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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