do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
