it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
