I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
