you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
