I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You took a bar mat shot.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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