Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
