It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
