Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
im holly from the hills drunk
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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