i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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