Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
