I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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