i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
