you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
