what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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