I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
