Your tits are I can't wait for
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
