me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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