My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
