How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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