looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
