It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
