where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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