If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
