They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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