you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
