She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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