I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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