I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
