i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
