thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
