That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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