There is no way he is gay with that hair.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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