There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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