did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
where are my eyebrows?
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