She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
