did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You pole danced in your parka.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize