do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
