Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
