i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
