Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
