I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
