youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
