3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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