You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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