the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My penis needs a shock collar
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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