Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
where does the pee come out of this thing
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Come on in and take your pants off
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