You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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