I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
