how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
