checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
