she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
