Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
