You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
