to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
