Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize