I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
